Official Singles Chart on 26/5/2002

Chart Reviews No.6 - 26/05/2002

Six of the best! Is what nobody says. Except football commentators. This is how I'm introducing this edition of "You've Been Given a Hit", except this time, well, actually, I was gonna change the format, but that would be too easy. Maybe next time, I'll work, on how many commas, I should use in my, work. Lolz.

In this early-00s thrillfest, there were 14 new hits, from the cool, to the drool, to the downright CRUEL. But we didn't have time for awfulness in 2002 because Eminem was king of the world. No real shocks as Without Me gave him his 3rd UK best-seller, and it provided him with a real launchpad for his album The Eminem Show. Safe say to say he passed with flying colours on that one (9/10).

This expert manoeuvre came at the cost of Atomic Kitten's return to the music industry, as they geared up for that all-important 2nd album syndrome (didn't happen). It's OK slammed its way to No.3, but you would be lucky if you found anyone who remembers what it sounded like (5/10). Also surprising was Westlife's capitulaton, as Bop Bop Baby only made No.5. Back in the day, they had a strike record of 10 in 11 chart toppers, so this was CATASTROPHIC. Just like the video, which saw them attempt to be pirates. Maybe this sort of seven-seas trick doesn't go down well with their teeny-bopper audience. Or was it their grandma audience. I'm not really sure (4/10).

In more important news, Ms Dynamite planned to shape herself as the new British rap sensation, with It Takes More, as it too slammed uncontrollably into the Top 10. This was the so-called "blueprint" for her Mercury Prize and BRIT Awards later that year, which would turn out to be as good as it got for Ms Dy-na-mi-tee. Still, I'm sure Bugzy Malone knows who she was (7/10). Also breaking the upper stages were Ian Van Dahl, the dance crew led by some woman or other (who isn't called Ian Van Dahl). Back in the early-2000s, they were princes of the trance revolution, as Reason became their third top ten hit on the spin, and heralded the release of their debut album, which also went Top 10. Again, they haven't been heard of much since, which isn't surprising, given all their songs sounded the same (5/10).

Meanwhile, down at 12, a curious chart jinx was finally broken. Korn's first seven hits peaked between 22 and 26, as they seemed forever to be stuck in mid-table mediocrity whilst their emo-skater-goth mates strolled into the sunset. Suddenly, Here To Stay flung itself as high as it could, and it seemed like nobody could touch them (7/10). That is, until their next single stalled at 37. At 18, the first solo hit for "Rhianna", Oh Baby,​ strangled its way into the chart, and ened up being her only hit. Bit of wasted potential for Rhianna Hannah Louise Kenny, who may or may not be confused with Miss Robyn Fenty. Just a hint (5/10). And at 20, Leeds five-piece 'A' followed up their SHOCK top 10 hit Nothing with Starbucks, with just as memorable as the song itself. So, not really then (6/10).

As for the stragglers (because there's a lot of them), Billy Bragg and the Blokes guided us on a magical trip, informing us that Britain is tripe (Take Down The Union Jack, 7/10), Pete Waterman tried his hand at yet another pop starlet with 13 yearold Lauren Waterworth, whose only hit was Baby Now That I've Found You (3/10), Black Rebel Motorcycle Club slowly but surely slithered up the charts with their new hit, Spread Your Love (6/10), DJ Shadow achieved his first hit for FIVE YEARS with You Can't Go Home Again (5/10, his album would go Top 10), everybody's favourite Irish busking folksters The Saw Doctors grabbed another small single with This Is Me (not from the Greatest Showman, 4/10), and indie gangsters Electric Soft Parade made it a second chart single with Empty at the End/This Given Line (5/10). Their album would later be Mercury nominated, but come on, when did THAT ever mean anything, right?

On the album chart, Ronan Keating's second album Destination predictably surged its way to the top, in an act of pure unoriginality even Cliff Richard would rival. Lulu squandered her way to fourth spot, whilst Aldershot-based hardrockers Hundred Reasons flew to 6 with their debut set, Ideas Above Our Station. I loved it, some other people did, no one else does. Typical. The chart also saw "attempts" by former England boss Terry Venables (yes, him) and Bryan Ferry to dent to record books, with The Everly Brothers, Gary Numan, Anita Baker, The Breeders, The Charlatans, The The, and NOFX also providing us with some blissfully forgettable albums. Mainly because most of those were greatest hits and B-sides, but I digress. Not like you'd buy them anyway.

Right then, that is me done. Forever. BYE!!!

(P.S. Cat got your tongue yet? Of course I haven't quit. I'll still be here, as usual, making jokes about certain artists's life choices. I wouldn't ever abandon my day job. Hopefully those aren't my famous last words.)