Official Singles Chart Update on 10/7/2023

Chart Update 10/07/2023

If you had three wishes, what would you wish for? Well, I would get rid of any sort of international conflict, make climate change a thing of the past, and GET SOME SONGS IN THE CHART THAT DON'T MAKE ME WANT TO CONSUME CYANIDE. OK, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but you can tell that the music scene has 'static' on its birth certificate.

Anyways, this is the Monday Upday Update Funday, where nothing happens, and I contemplate what's going on with the backburners of the industry. Like Taylor Swift (just kidding) whose chart positions are now 5 (non-TV), 6, and 8. Better Than Revenge has vanished in favour of I Can See You, mainly because the video has enough views to be national news, and because it isn't falling apart on Spotify. It actually has legs, OK? Which is a problem, because everything else on the chart has legs. Dave & Cench, for example, are still showering us in disbelief at how boring Sprinter is, and yet we all still stream it. It's almost like we're under a spell or something. Conspiracies abound, people.

The album chart is also looking quite the one-sided show, as Speak Now (TV) is outselling the whole Top 10 (which isn't hard to do nowadays, but still). This logically means I have to pour my heart out for the acts that also put out new material, like PJ Harvey, Gabriels, and The Pigeon Detectives, whilst also wondering if re-release music by Suede is a good idea, whether or not another bleeding Wham! compilation is just an excuse for Andrew Ridgeley to pay his tax for this month, and to gawp in frustration at the sight of Lana Del Rey parachuting back into the Top 5 because of ONE gig. You get your Glasto set shortened and suddenly you're a big shot. Good for you.

Elsewhere, and D.O.D. is going to take the world (not a great sign), BOU and ANOTR are also set to make my blood boil with their insipid dance-flavoured 'productions', and the new hits here aren't much to shout about either. For example, Tomorrow x Together, aka YET ANOTHER EDM TRACK NO ONE WILL EVER  CONFESS TO LIKING. You can't even blame the musically sterile Jonas Brothers for this one, the song is that predictable. Big on iTunes apparently, but when did that ever mean anything.

As for the other new stuff, well, D-Block Europe's album is at No.7 on the update, and with it comes the inevitable streamer's paradise. Side Effects rockets up from the 80s indifference to be joined by Potential at 47. And Pakistan is at 12. Weird. You'd think the album would have pushed it up to unknown heights, but apparently not. I guess we'll have to block our ears out instead, Also, K-Pop TikToks 'sensations' NewJeans are set for a second Top 100 look-in with Super Shy, a song from their upcoming EP out on the 21st where they pretend to be The Powerpuff Girls. I mean, why? I didn't care too much for their previous 'hit', Ditto, because A), it peaked at 95, so why should you, and B), it's K-Pop. My ears are clearly too full with D-Block protection fluid to be bothered about another hip girl group. I prefer FLO anyway.

But I digress. That is that. So be it. Auf widersehen.

(P.S. In ACR news, Rudimental are down to 25, Jazzy is at 22, Switch Disco slump to 28, whilst Heat Waves and Seventeen Going Under are back to their traditional spots in the lower half of the 100. Oh, and The Jonas Brothers are out as well. Good riddance, I say.)

(P.P.S. Oh, and Ms. Pinnock is stuck treading water in the mid-50s, which is where she will be stuck for the next few months, no matter how many radio plays she gets. Maybe this solo gig isn't a good idea. It's all gone downhill for the Mixers ever since the dreaded Heartbreak Anthem.)

I am very surprised to see 'TRUSTFALL' back in at #90.

Would be cool seeing 'Relax My Eyes' in the Top 40 this Friday. Very different to most of the other dance hits in the chart! 

Good to see 'Popular' moving nearer the Top 10. Hope it get there very soon! 🤞

Glad to see Taylor still with three songs in the Top 10! 😊